doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
