Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
