I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
barbara walters just said penis...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
