Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
