She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
