chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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