Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
