Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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