Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize