we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
