She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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