no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
