My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
