Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
