Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
