I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
