this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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