just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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