i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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