Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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