u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can't special order awesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
