You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
