its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
