im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
