I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
