just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
