its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
