what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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