Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
