That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
