put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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