Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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