i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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