Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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