what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
