i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it's like iHOP with fire
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
