He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
