We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
