Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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