ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
