Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize