i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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