I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
