JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
