he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
