Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
my poor anus
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
