so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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