return my video game
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We have started to decorate penises.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize