Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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