keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
