But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
