Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
