that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
