..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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