Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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