i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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