thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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