Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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