go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
