Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
