For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
