the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
