Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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