We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
