Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
