help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he shaved USA in his pubs
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
