hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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