Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i would punch a child for taco bell
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
