i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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