i barfeds in our rink
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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