just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Screwed.edu
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize